I have tried so many times the past few days to compose this post. I’m not sure why I feel so stuck, but I refuse to give up. I mean for this space to be a place for true honesty. I may have questions or concerns that you have already faced, and I pray that that will be a blessing to me that I may learn from you. That said I may voice concerns at sharing my knowledge gaps. Please overlook my repetitive worries.
Ok, on to the topic at hand.
God’s timing can be so different from what we would like it to be. I can think of several times that I felt God was just piling it on, you know? But I have also experienced real moments of awe as he brings me people and challenges and so many other things right when they “seem” right. The truth is he is doing this daily we just aren’t always paying attention. I am working on being more mindful of those moments.
The past few days God has placed several impactful verses in my path. They have me thinking about many things regarding my outlook and relationship with him. One thing I have become aware of is how much pressure I put on myself to find the “right” way to talk to God. Sometimes I get so bogged down with wondering how God sees me, or how he hears me that I have trouble even reaching out to him.
“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.” Romans 8:26-28 NIV
Even in the struggle to talk to him he is there, interpreting what is on our hearts, leading us through the struggle to put our pain into words. Sometimes I feel embarrassed when God reveals these things to me. Am I still struggling to know his power? Am I still surprised my his might? Yes, I am. Of course I am. The Father is so much bigger than we can even imagine. I hope to find these moments more affirming than surprising as I come across them. I have also been thinking about the seasons we go through. As I was thinking about this a great scene from the film, Footloose came to mind.
Ren uses a powerful part of Ecclesiastes 3 to convince the town to allow dancing at the Senior Prom.
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
I have always loved this passage as it shows the amazing things God has in store for us in life. But this time it really hit how important this is for the opposite reason. Yes we are blessed with all of these times in life, but we are also blessed that these times don’t last. In order to experience it all life must change, all the time. One- this means that the times we give up or hate will not last forever. Two- this means that the times we laugh and dance are filled with joy because we have weathered the storm. This is Huge for me. I struggle with negative thoughts a lot of the time.
Hopefully I can continue to find God’s lessons daily. Please share lessons you have learned or re-learned lately. I’d love to hear your thoughts.